


restless

by spacebutterfly



Category: Inazuma Eleven GO, Inazuma Eleven GO Galaxy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 05:54:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacebutterfly/pseuds/spacebutterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even when Konoha sleeps at his side, there are certain thoughts that keep Kusaka awake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	restless

Her breath is gentle like the whisper of wind through the trees.

It's the one sound that penetrates the silence in the pitch blackness of Kusaka's room. It must be at least midnight, for he's been lying awake for so many hours that Konoha's sleeping sounds have become the background noise of his thoughts. He's wide awake himself. Why that is, he's not quite sure; it may be summer, but this night is no warmer than usual. It's not like he inhaled any caffeine, either. Other than that, what could keep him awake? Surely it's nothing...

Konoha rolls over in her sleep, curled up on her side facing Kusaka. She lets out a dreamy sigh, but doesn't awaken.

It's alright for some, Kusaka thinks, studying the round features of her face in the moonlight; her soft lashes, flush cheeks and gentle lips, all of it framed by frothy curls of hair. He'd like to touch her, pull her close into his arms and hold her, but Konoha is the type to jolt out of sleep as quickly and easily as a cat. And here he is, wishing he could drift into sleep as easily as a cat could, too. No such luck.

What could keep him awake? Fear? Worry? Kusaka feels a prickle in his stomach at that idea. Can he really say he's worried about something? It's nothing in particular...nothing worth mentioning...he shakes his head forcefully. Thinking about that would only make it into even more of a problem. Useless thoughts like that, he's better off forgetting...

“Kusaka-kun?” comes a tiny voice which nearly makes Kusaka jump out of his skin. Konoha's inky eyes are on his.

“K-Konoha? Did I wake you?” he says quickly, wondering how he could have done so without even realising it.

“No,” Konoha says. “I had a strange dream.”

“Strange? What happened?” Kusaka asks, concerned. Konoha raises her eyebrows.

“I dreamed that we were in a cheese shop, and one of the big cheeses on the top shelf was about to fall on me. Then I woke up. Some other things happened, but I don't remember.” She edges ever so slightly closer to Kusaka as she speaks. “Are you okay?”

“What? I'm fine. Why?” he says, taken off-guard. Konoha doesn't look the least bit convinced.

“You're still awake.” She smiles a little. “I woke up and I couldn't hear you snoring, so I knew you were awake.”

“You got me,” mutters Kusaka in amusement. “I'm okay, though. Just...kind of...can't sleep, I guess.” Again, Konoha's ability to see through him makes itself clear in her doubtful expression. That skill of hers is almost angering – almost.

“Something on your mind?”

“No...I mean...it's kind of...” Kusaka stalls as the uncomfortable prickly feeling returned. It's not like he wants to worry about this. Worrying makes him kind of...weak, after all...

“Kusaka-kun, you know...you can tell me if you're worried about something.”

“That's not...It's not like I'm really worried about anything. I'm not. I'm just...” Kusaka pauses as Konoha sits up, still looking him in the eye.

“Something is making you upset, and you're losing sleep over it,” she says in that knowing way of hers. “That's not good, Kusaka-kun. If you keep bottled up you'll get more and more upset.” Kusaka sits up too, but he's reluctant to look Konoha in the face.

“I know, but it's stupid,” he says shakily. Now he's thinking about what's worrying him, and it had worried him all along, but he doesn't want to think about it. He just wants it to go away.

“It's not stupid,” says Konoha softly, leaning on Kusaka's leg. She's warm. “Please can you tell me?” Her closeness brings him some comfort, but thinking about the weakness of his thoughts makes him feel cold inside.

“It's just...just...” Kusaka grits his teeth. “I keep thinking...stuff like...how I shouldn't be with you.”

“What?!” exclaims Konoha, tensing immediately. Kusaka continues speaking before she can protest.

“No, I mean...I'm not...” He takes a deep breath, collecting his thoughts before continuing. Konoha silently waits for him. “Konoha, you're...a good person. You've done so much for me, but I...I'm not...I don't deserve it...”

“What do you mean?” Konoha cuts in desperately. “Kusaka-kun, you're always helping people! You're always kind and looking out for everyone! And me...” She falters at Kusaka's uneasy expression.

“I just...” Kusaka furrows his brow, gripping his wrist out of habit. “I can't stop thinking that I'm...dangerous, y'know, people still look at me that way...and I still lose my temper sometimes...I've lost my temper with you before...I still do...”

“But you've gotten much better!” insists Konoha. “You...you don't get into fights any more, and...you...everyone gets angry sometimes! That doesn't mean you're bad! And if you ever feel...bad about stuff, I'm here, and...all your friends are here too-”

“But by the time I've hurt someone it'll be too late!” Kusaka says, raising his voice in panic. “And as long as you're near me, that could happen!”

“What are you talking about?” says Konoha loudly, eyes wide. “That won't happen!”

“You don't know that!” Kusaka spat, feeling increasingly antsy and irritated, not at Konoha, but at himself.

“I do know!” says Konoha hotly. Kusaka casts her a look of disbelief. “I know that,” she says quietly, steadily meeting his gaze. “I know that you...the Kusaka-kun I know would...he would never hurt someone he didn't want to.” Kusaka feels frustration froth up inside him.

“You aren't even listening-”

“I am listening!” snaps Konoha. “You wouldn't ever hurt someone you loved! Because,” she says, before Kusaka can interrupt again, “You'd never hurt someone if you didn't want to!” This statement sounds completely senseless to Kusaka.

“You mean I wanted to hurt all those people before?!”

“Yes!” says Konoha, cowering a little at his fierce expression, but keeping on regardless. “B-Because...back then, you thought that if you hurt people, it would protect you and your friends...but now...now you know that isn't true!” She gives him an imploring gaze, but the meaning of her phrase doesn't make itself clear right away.

“I...”

“You've never hurt someone for no reason for as long as I've known you,” says Konoha, her voice once again gentle. “You've done bad things, Kusaka-kun, but...you're always trying to do what you think is right. Even now...you're worrying too much about things because you're trying to do what's right...” She smiles weakly. “But you're wrong this time.” As Konoha's words slowly reach Kusaka's brain, it's like someone is siphoning off his anger and his worries.

“Have I...” He rubs his forehead, which aches from all the yelling. “Have I just been really stupid?”

“No,” says Konoha, looking relieved as she leans into Kusaka's waist. “It would be more stupid if you didn't get it all out now.”

“I'm really stupid,” he mutters, reaching out with his free hand and pulling Konoha even closer to him, feeling the warmth of her small body against his. Funny how Konoha always seems to be right about this stuff. Funny how she always manages to make it sound so obvious. Yawning widely, he lies back down. Konoha curls up at his side.  
“I suppose we should try to get back to sleep now,” she says.

Kusaka grins. “I'm so tired, I think I could sleep for a week.”


End file.
